So grab the nearest book.
Find page 45.
The first sentence describes your sex life for the next twelve months:
*sigh*
“Behind the balusters of the forecastle a large number of soldiers, who were laying in wait there under a petty officer full of malice, were preparing to send us a murderous discharge from their muskets.”
Says it all really.
This is a bit of “How Half-Arse became Captain” from Memoirs of a Buccaneer by Louis le Golif. On the one hand it means I got a scary result in the meme – I’m wondering if penicillin would cure that ‘murderous discharge’, but on the other how cool is it that even at work, by absolute chance, the nearest book is about a guy called Half-Arse with a matelot called Pulverin?
Elin Gregory 
“What’s your name?”
“Half-Arse.”
“I’ll give you half arse. Men! Muskets ready!”
Actually, Elin, I’m more worried about the large number of soldiers behind the forecastle! Great Meme, well, not so great, but you know what I mean.