Here we go again – Six Sentence Sunday! The usual thing – register with the site then on Sunday post just six sentences from a published work or WIP. Links on the site will allow you to go whizzing around the world reading other people’s sentences. It’s a lot of fun.
Here are mine – again I’m using my WIP “A Fierce Reaping” based on the 6th century AD poem Y Gododdin. Introducing another character here who will become more important to Cynfal as time goes by:
The harper he had noticed earlier, crouched at Marro’s feet, was not a boy, as Cynfal had thought but a man grown, though the boniness of his wrists suggested that he was still young. Dark hair swung forward to shadow his face, a close cropped beard shadowed his jaw, but the clear grey eyes, rimmed with black, were on Aneurin, watching for cues, and the thin lips moved, shaping the words silently. It was an austere face, with prominent but beautiful bones – the face of a fanatic, or a saint, or of a young man who had been desperately ill.
“Who’s that?” Cynfal whispered, nudging Aeddan.
Aeddan leaned and looked then made white eyes like a frightened horse. “That’s Gwion, Cynon’s young cousin – a man to avoid.”
The description of Gwion is fantastic. I was able to picture him clearly and am very intrigued by the warning at the end.
Wow, thank you. Praise indeed. 🙂
I have to agree. Amazing description of Gwion. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you 🙂 Sadly, restricted to Cynfal’s point of view it’s a bit hard to give a concise description of what Cynfal looks like. Maybe I ought to do some descriptive passages to give some idea of the other characters but 6 sentences a week can be a bit straitening.
The vivid description is a great set up for the dire warning of the last line. Fantastic six, Elin!
The plot thickens, as they say. 🙂 Thanks and thanks for commenting!
“It was an austere face, with prominent but beautiful bones – the face of a fanatic, or a saint, or of a young man who had been desperately ill.”
LOVE that line!
Thank you 😀
Beautifully written and yes, a very vivid description of Gwion. This is a real “I want MORE” piece. 🙂
😀 thanks, hun.
Nice descriptions! 🙂
Thanks you and thanks for commenting.
Intense and visual. Great six!
Thanks Gem, much appreciated.
“A man to avoid…” Can’t wait to find out why!
Thanks Jenny. It’ll be a while though, unless I skip a lot of action. 🙂
Very intriguing! Cynfal’s description was beautiful and seemingly admiring, such a contrast to Aeddan’s reaction and warning. Loved your six. 🙂
Thank you, Lorraine. I hope this works, and I hope it doesn’t put too many people off that the ‘romance’, such as it is, is between two blokes. Cynfal isn’t smitten, yet, but he’s taking notice.
Ooh, very intriguing! Great setup.
Thanks for commenting, Skye. 🙂
Amazing description, and I love the ominous twist at the end. Beautifully written!
Thanks so much Sarah. I just hope it all works when it’s done. 🙂
Excellent description! And that twist at the end is a perfect hook. Well done!
Thanks very much, Silver. Your comments are much appreciated.
That is a terrific character portrait — well done!
Thanks, Steve, that’s a very kind thing to say. 🙂
ANOTHER interesting character! Fab 6, Elin!
Thanks, C.C. 🙂 the plot thickens.
Ooo! Why? Spooky and mysterious. The detail drew me right in, like I was there with them. Enjoyed your last one, too (which I just read). Great six!!
Thank you. I’m glad you’re enjoying them. 🙂
Hmmm, leaves me wondering WHY is he a man to avoid – great description and really got me involved. Terrific six!
Thank you very much for commenting. I’m worried now that it’ll be an anticlimax 😀
Wonderfully descriptive character introduction! Great six!
Thanks, Karyn. Now I’ve got him I’ll have to make sure he earns his keep. 🙂
As soon as they tell us to steer clear, that’s the reader’s hint that there’s a story. Great setup.
Thank you. Where would we be without a little conflict? 🙂
beautiful visuals – and I agree with ep 😀
Thank you, Sue. And thanks for commenting. It’s much appreciated.
I like this snippet because you draw a clear physica picture of Gwion while giving a hint that maybe Cynfal is already suspicious of him. Nice six.
Thanks, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.:)
You’re descriptive powers in this snippet are amazing. Wonderful job.
I’m jealous of your ability to handle historical so easily. I’m getting ready to rewrite my historical for camp nano, and it’s one or the hardest things I’ve done. There’s just so much to keep track of.
Historical can be a nightmare. As you say there’s so much to keep track of if you plan to write serious historical novels. Language, for instance. Have you discovered http://www.etymonline.com? Absolutely brilliant for giving the earliest known incidence of words so you can avoid anachronisms. There’s something very jarring about seeing the word ‘Okay’ coming from the lips of a 4th century Roman general.
Thanks for the encouragement. and thanks for commenting. It’s much appreciated.
“A man to avoid.” <<< Yikes! "and the thin lips moved, shaping the words silently." << MORE OF THIS! Loved, loved that description. Spoke to me..
🙂 thank you! Now I have to make him live up to his description.
Great description of Gwion! You not only captured him physically, but you managed to make us intrigued a a tad worried, all in 6 sentences 🙂
Thanks , Angela. 🙂 I’ve got to make Gwion live up to his description now.
Your descriptions are beautiful! Great six!
Thanks Jennifer. And thanks for commenting.
I love how dense your prose is, so beatifully written and vivid. What a great six with a hook ending. Fantastic!
LOL, I have to admit that it wasn’t quite that dense before I crammed seven sentences down to six. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it.
You have me intrigued with Gwion! Beautiful and dangerous. I need to know all about him. Careful, Cynfal! 🙂
*hint* Gwion’s the love interest. [Well, for a given value of love, they get there in the end but it takes a while]. Thanks for the comment, it’s much appreciated.
Beautiful description. Got to watch out for those harpers.
Thanks, Sue Ann. And thanks for commenting.
Love this description. He’s so intriguing and I was particularly taken with the parallel you’ve drawn betweens fanatics, saints, and those who are ill. Terrific six!
Thank you, Monica. I hope I can make him live up to his description. 🙂
He’s CLEARLY man to avoid, the way you described. Which, btw, was excellent. The bony wrists, the grey eyes rimmed with darkness, his crouching stance. I mean, it all screamed “beware” and I loved it. I don’t know what’s in store for this character, but it sowing to be interesting without a doubt.
Fingerscrossed that Gwion lives up to his description. Thanks very much for the encouragement Jalisa. It’s much appreciated.
Love the character names. I wonder why Aeddan doesn’t like Gwion?
Oh well spotted, Frank. Yes, Aeddan has ‘issues’. I can’t take credit for the names 🙂 I just lifted them from the original poem.
Description to pull you in with a warning to scare you off. Way to throw the reader off balance.
Thanks Mac, and thanks for commenting 🙂